If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me and we weren’t us, we would have had a conversation.
This conversation would have taken place in a small cafe playing indie music. There is no one else there, and my coffee is cold, but that’s okay because I wasn’t there for the coffee anyway.
If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me and we weren’t us, you’d be sitting across me wearing your favourite green jacket, and I would be staring at you with my hand on my chin.
After sitting in silence for minutes that felt like seconds, I would tell you how grateful I am for you. I would tell you how I have started to like myself a bit more since you came into my life and that you are the only reason why I can’t give up on humans. I would tell you you’ve ignited something in my heart that I was so sure I lost. I would tell you I have started to feel some type of way after a long time. I would tell you how my heart sings when I see your name coming up on my phone. I would tell you how happy I am for you being you, me being me and us being us. I would call you my safe haven and hold your hands. I would look at you in a way I have never done before, and thank you for the safety, knowing and consistency.
If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me and we weren’t us, I would tell you I love you and ask if you love me too.
If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me and we weren’t us, you’d squeeze my hands and tell me I’ve shown you the affection and care that you never knew was possible. You would tell me you see yourself in a different light now that I am in your life. You would tell me you like that I’m broken like you and we can fix each other. You would tell me you’re amazed by how calm, and steady I am even when the world around me is in turmoil. You would tell me I feel like warmth and home and ask me how that’s possible.
I would blush and look down on the table because I don’t know how to take compliments.
If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me and we weren’t us, you would tell me how thankful you are for always being there and not judging you when I could. You would tell me what we have is a mystery and you’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You would ask me where I have been all this time, and how you wish you had met me sooner.
If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me and we weren’t us, you would tilt my chin up with your hand and come closer to me. You would tell me you’ve never felt at peace like you do right now. You would tell me you love me for this, and so much more.
If you weren’t you and I wasn’t me and we weren’t us, you would kiss me and time and space would become irrelevant.
But…
You are you, I am me, us is us and none of this will ever happen.
You are you, I am me, us is us and we both know we will end up breaking each other’s hearts if we ever have this conversation.
You are you, I am me, us is us and we’ve been broken before, and we wouldn’t dare risk it again.
Long story short,
You are you, I am me, us is us and we are both cowards.