Current Joys – The Series II


Okay, so I have a lover who is not mine. He is handsome but he has flaws. Flaws like the scar on his chin, and his insecurities. He says he loves life yet he is not afraid of death. He says he is confused yet he knows what he does not want. His name starts with all the letters in the alphabet, and every time I say it, it sounds like a prayer.

The first time we met wasn’t in a gallery but I think we are a lot like John and Yoko. We have bed-ins but it isn’t for peace. Our bed-ins involve fights after fights and a pile of words that is only of love.

He writes at times, but his words are as confused as he is. He sometimes draws but only people with no faces. He tells me he wishes people didn’t have faces because it would have made life easier. I tell him its names that I don’t like, and I wish I didn’t have one.

He calls me Bonnie because he thinks he is Clyde. But I wonder if he knows Bonnie and Clyde ended up dead. He tells me he applauds them for not caring. They did everything that they wanted without caring.

I want to tell him ‘But I care, I care about a lot of things. I care about you, and I care if one day I will lose you.’ However, I don’t tell him that because I want to remain the Bonnie to his Clyde.

He thinks I’m spoiled because some days I just want to run away. Runaway to cities like Florence and Monte Isola. But deep down I think he feels special because I want him to run away with me.

I tell him he is nothing but trouble. He tells me, that’s why I am attracted. But I think it is the way he thinks he doesn’t care about anything that got me wrapped up. Because in his world of ‘uncaring’ I can see he only cares for me.

Anyhow, I also know he is trouble. And, we can’t get out of trouble. The only way out is death.

Like Bonnie and Clyde.