Dear future lover,
You didn’t know what to make of her. You were trying to build her trust. The trust she no longer had for humans.
You thought she could learn to love you, but her heart was always somewhere else. Sometimes you hugged her and she let you. Sometimes she pushed your hands aside. Sometimes she had tears in her eyes and then she wouldn’t let you touch her.
You didn’t know if she was happy or not. Sometimes she was so happy it felt like all the stars were aligned. She grabs your hand and asks to elope. By the time you finished packing, she would change her mind and tell you marriage is a social construct, and love does not need the government’s approval.
And then you ask, ‘So, this is love?’
She replies, ‘Love is illogical we don’t need it.’
You never knew what she was thinking. She ran and ran and you could barely keep up. Once, she said she loved you in a sleepy voice then immediately took it back. You whispered that it was okay because you loved her too but by then she’d fallen asleep.
It’s a sad concept really. Loving someone that much and them telling you its illogical. Some days she left your heartbroken, her words cutting you deep. Yet, every time she came back telling you she’s sorry you accepted her with loving arms.
What you didn’t realize was that every time you forgave her, you were giving her away a piece of yourself. In the end, she took everything and left.
No, you were not upset with her. You were upset with humans. They ruined her, she was perfect, and they ruined her. How and why would they ruin something so beautiful and soulful? Why would they take all her trust away?
You wanted to tell her ‘I’m different’ or maybe say “Fuck you! How dare you abuse my love and trust?”
But your heart knows what you would say if you see her again.
You would say, “Let me hug you, we can forget everything.”
After all, she was right, love is illogical and you are a patient.