The Series – Messages From A Soft Lover XIII

©Adane Firde

Last night I dreamt about you for the first time in a while.

It made me wonder if you see me in your dreams too. Do you miss me? Do you miss me so much that you can’t sleep? Do you dial my number and hang up before it rings? Do you get drunk on weekends and call your new girlfriend by my name? Does she scream at you for mentioning me? Is she afraid you might still be in love with me? Are you still in love with me? Were you ever in love with me?

Do you think about me once a day? or maybe every other day? Or is it only on Sundays?

What do you do on Sundays? Do you lie in bed wondering if I’m thinking of you? Does the bed still smell like me? It probably doesn’t. But do you think it does? Did you change your side of the bed? Does she sleep on my side of the bed now?

Or do you go out on Sundays and meet your friends, only to talk about me? Do they tell you to get over me? or do they tell you to give it one more chance? Do they like your new girlfriend? Does she make them laugh as I do?

Or do you stay in and watch the show ‘Friends’ again? Does Phoebe still remind you of me? Do you watch the show absent-mindedly because your mind is busy thinking about what we could have been?

Do you wake up on Mondays and turn to my side of the bed to tell me you can’t wait for next Sunday? Do you feel crushed when you realize I’m no longer there?

Do you wish we had more time?
Do you regret it?

Maybe you do. Maybe you do miss me. Maybe you have started to think every girl who walks with her head down looks like me. Maybe you resent your new girlfriend for taking away the chance of us getting back together. Maybe you do miss me.

But maybe you don’t. Probably you don’t. And the thought of you not missing me does not crush me anymore, in that I realize I no longer miss you