How naive of me to think that I would feel no pain at the end of it all? I should know by now that caring leads to being hurt. I should have learned sooner that feelings have consequences too.
But it’s okay.
Looking at things from a different perspective, none of this matters much. Next month I will meet another man who has learned to say what he thinks I want to hear, to tell me I’m pretty and smart and everything he’s looking for, but we won’t fall in love because I will know he’s lying.
But it’s okay.
Looking at things from a different perspective, by next year my guard will be down and I’ll have fallen in love maybe once, twice or a million times, with each stranger I might meet here and there. I’ll have laughed and cried myself to sleep over stupid things that aren’t worth remembering and sat up all night feeling numb when I should be on top of the world. I’ll have overthought about silly stuff and created problems that would not have existed otherwise.
But it’s okay.
Looking at this from a different perspective, I am young. And in the future, none of this will matter. In the future, I will be cool but not in a good way. My heart will be cold. I will be calm, go with the flow. In the future, I will crash into everything, breaking hearts as I go. And what will that make me? A regular, an ordinary.
But it’s okay.
Looking at things from a different perspective, I am smaller than a fragment of what has happened so far, and my emotions mean nothing at all. My heart could be carrying infinite hurts and secrets but then in a world where finiteness is the norm, how is perspective supposed to make me feel better?
But it’s okay.
Because looking at the perspective from a different perspective, none of it matters much.